Forgive me if my first post is self-aggrandizing, but it’s my birthday. I’ve always loved birthdays, especially my own, and I treat them as though the day’s celebrant is the Queen (or King) of everything.
Today I am 41, school is cancelled due to snow, and my kids intend to spend the day baking, playing and lounging with the ‘Queen of Today’. Couldn’t have planned it better if I was the Queen of England!
We live in a great town, though not the best; have a great house, yet far from the biggest…and often in need of repair; I drive a 2002 mini-van (with 4 kids, not many options on that one); I do not own a vacation home other than a tent; and my idea of fabulous furnishings is often something from a flea market or salvage destined for a dump.
We don’t have ‘a lot’ compared to many, but according to my 10-year-old son’s handmade birthday card to me…what more could we need?
Granted, the siblings verse is a bit satirical, but siblings can be annoying.
So what’s the lesson here? No lesson, just sharing my birthday wish with you! Actually, it’s more of a shortcut. I hope that by revealing my perceived shortcomings, then displaying ‘proof’ (see card), that the flaws only exist if I see them as such. You can save yourself years of trying to attain ‘things’, when all you really need is to be present. Show up. Come to the party.
Everything is in how you look at it. In the eyes of children, and the people who care about you, you are more than enough. You are perfect.
If there is one thing I know, it’s that our expectations for life often differ greatly from reality. Friends whom I view as enviable successes reveal the following thoughts to me, such as: “I thought I would be…married, not divorced, have kids, own a second home, be at home with kids, be in love, have a career, be established, weigh less, be buff, own a house, run a marathon, be a movie/rock star”.
Life isn’t about having your architectural blueprint carefully drafted and executed. Stuff happens. And it is when we are finally exhausted from trying to defy the odds and have the greener grass, that we find ourselves having a good time loving our lives, our families (yes…even our siblings), our friends and most of all, ourselves.
It is when we stop trying so hard to force the goal, and instead take the time to smell the daisies along the way (while keeping our goal within sight), that we suddenly realize we are laughing more and worrying less. It is then that we are truly experiencing life. As one of my sisters told me when I was disappointed at my life’s unchartered course…‘What’s meant for you, won’t pass you by’ (I happen to adore my siblings by the way).
We’ve all heard the sayings: wherever you go…there you are; someone loves you; this too shall pass; your time will come. All of these are true. Have faith in these humble messages, and do so with a smile; for others, and most of all, yourself.
All of the disappointments I feared were my failures, with time and patience, together with the lessons I learned, will shape the next phase of my life. It is from challenge and adversity that we grow. And it is through the eyes of children that we often see that what we thought was most important isn’t what we thought it was at all.
So this year, when I blow out all 42 candles (one for good luck!), I will sneak in a little extra wish that you extend the olive branch to yourself this year as well.
Lori
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